Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Bye for now...

I may resume blogging at some point in the future. I don't know when that will be though...so here are some parting shots of my beautiful boys from this past Halloween weekend...






Harry is quickly growing his hair back in after it fell out recently. And Luke is trying so hard to find his thumb-it's so cute. So incredibly blessed to have these handsome boys in my life! I love them more than words!!

I know some people can manage blogging and babies and I think that's great, but I'm really just too busy and just don't have the focus to do it right now. I think of blogging subjects all the time, but seems like I can't ever seem to write them down! So thanks to everyone for following my journey over the past couple of years-I truly appreciate all of you and your kind words of support. I wish you all the very best in life!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Very belated birth story

I started writing this in August, but am just getting a chance to finally post it. Insane!! So busy, but will try to update more often. Thank you all so much for all of your sweet comments and well wishes! So lucky to be Luke & Harry's Mom. :-)

I was admitted to hospital for the 5th time on July 11th. I thought I'd felt a trickle of fluid escape in the middle of the night while getting up for a routine bathroom visit. It just didn't feel normal. After posting about it on the Bump, I decided that I'd better call in the latest issue. Oh, and my OB had left that morning for vacation for a week, so that's a good sign that something was about to happen (lol). Anyway, I was admitted and they checked to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. Turns out, I was not, so I assumed it was another admission with no babies being born.

But, after running some labwork, they discovered my platelets had fallen again from just the previous day in the office. Also, my blood pressure was continuing to rise. So, I stayed overnight in hospital. On Sunday, July 12 (the day I turned 35 weeks), my platelets had fallen to 102,000, BP had remained elevated at greater than 140/90, and swelling persisted. So, I was finally given the clinical diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. My favorite memory-the OB on-call (Dr. O) came in to tell me of my recent labwork values and my Dad and I were just hanging out in the room watching Law & Order re-runs and reading magazines. Dr. O discussed his fear of my platelets falling anymore and heading into major abdominal surgery with potential clotting difficulties. He said: "We're going to take the babies." I said: "That sounds good. What day will that be? (thinking sometime the next week)" He said: "Tonight at 7pm." I said: "Oh my!"

And the flurry of phone calls began. Steve and Mom were notified first and both were astonished! We were having babies! Everyone else was soon notified. I spent the next couple of hours anticipating the big event! Below is a picture of us right before I was wheeled back into the OR.



I went down to the OR around 7:30pm for prepping. Steve waited in the hallway, putting on his Dad garb: hat, gown, shoe covers. Meanwhile in the OR, I was busy getting my epidural. It was pretty easy and didn't hurt at all-so glad for that. I spent the next half hour or so being my usual self and talking to everyone in the room. From the techs to the anesthesiologist to the neonatologists to the nurses to Dr. O, I talked non-stop to all of them! I think it was a nervous side effect of the epidural as Steve said I was REALLY talkative. I was definitely numb though and ready to start the surgery.

Anyway, I was able to see the entire surgery on the table mirror overhead, despite the big drape covering our immediate view. It was great. I was able to see my boys being pulled out! First was my full dark-haired little Luke (Lucas Edgar). He was born at 8:30pm weighing 5lbs 9 oz and was 18 inches. Below is the first pic of Luke and me. :-)



Then after what seemed like 10 minutes, but was only 2 minutes, baby Harry (Harrison Paul) arrived at 8:32pm from his frank breech position weighing 6 lbs 4 oz and was also 18 inches. Funniest OR moment: Steve's initial thought when he saw Harry was that he was the "baldest Harry" he'd ever seen (lol). Turns out Steve was not aware he was looking at his butt and thought it was the back of his head. Ha. Anyway, Harry does indeed have hair and isn't bald at all. Steve was able to walk Luke into the nursery, but Harry stayed behind for some very brief breathing issues. He recovered quickly was able to join Luke soon thereafter in the nursery. I will never forget hearing their first cries. What emotional moments they were for me-I cried both times!! I didn't get an OR pic of Harry and me due to the early breathing issues and Steve leaving the room with Luke. So, my first Harry pic was in the middle of the hallway heading back to my room. It also happened to be the first time I held both babies and their first picture together. Again, I was very emotional. What a night!



Following the surgery, I went to the Recovery Room until I was stable. I was then sent back to my room about an hour later. I had to be put on a Magnesium Sulfate drip however since I'd had blood pressure and other issues prior to the delivery due to the pre-eclampsia. I remained on it until about 4pm the next day. I felt awful. What a nasty drug. It truly felt like I had the flu. Anyway, I was able to be moved to the Mother/Baby unit after getting off the drug. It felt like I was finally a new Mother after the move occurred!

I was able to have the boys move in with me very soon though-about 2 hours after delivery! They looked so cute all bundled up sleeping together in their little hospital bed. I kept them sleeping together up until just recently. It just killed me to separate them, but they were waking each other up and we are desperate for sleep around this house!



The rest is kinda routine-lots of visitors in and out for the next few days, slowly regaining strength and beginning to walk a little, learning how to breastfeed and pump, incision soreness, etc. I was discharged with both boys on July 16th. I can't believe I was so lucky to go home with both of them! I felt anxious to know that we were being sent home to be parents without the hospital nurses around to ask all kinds of questions to at all hours of the night. But we survived. :) Here's the lovely "hospital issue" photo of the boys...no sarcasm here (lol)...



And that's the condensed, all I can remember, 11 weeks later, birth story. At least I captured a few details I really wanted to remember before pregnancy brain erases forever my dear memories.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Welcome to the world Lucas and Harrison





That's right-I actually have a reasonable excuse this time for my delay in blogging: my babies are here!!!!!! They arrived the day after my last post. Exactly 35 weeks-you guys are so smart as I look over at my poll!!

I think I'll break the birth story down into a couple of blog entries, but I'll just start off with the brief info everyone wants to know. On Sunday, July 12th, 2009, Lucas Edgar (Baby A) was born at 8:30pm and weighed 5 lbs 9 oz and he was 18 inches long. Harrison Paul (Baby B) was born at 8:32pm and weighed 6 lbs 4 oz and was also 18 inches long. I had them via C-section as I had developed pre-eclampsia and the docs decided not to wait any further to deliver them.

Baby Luke has the fullest head of black hair and most beautiful little face.



Baby Harry has lighter brown hair and has the best smiles and roaming blue eyes.



I think they have similar facial features. Suffice it to say, we are just completely in love with both of them.



Both boys are doing fantastic. We all left the hospital together on July 16. It's just absolutely amazing to be a new Mother to these precious boys. I'm learning how to be their Mother better each and every day. We are even tandem breastfeeding. :-)

Love to all and thanks for all the support. I'll write my birth story as soon as I get a chance, but haven't had a moment since delivery to even put this post up! Sleeping is critical these days!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Still pregnant...

Just wanted to pop on here and let everyone know that I'm still pregnant. Will be 35 weeks tomorrow! Yippee!

Had a pretty good appt yesterday. NST was good and both babies were reactive with good accelerations and good heartrates. My BP was high again, but not 140/90, so no one ever seems to care about it. Pitting edema still present in feet and am beginning to swell significantly again in my feet and only slightly in my hands. Ctx present as always, but not greater than 5/hour. Had labwork drawn again: my liver enzymes are still elevated (but not much changed from before) and my platelets had dropped again to 140,000. Cervical check did not go well. She couldn't tell how dilated I was?? Tried twice but she said it was too far back, so no result and that was sheer agony and pain for me. Did a cervical u/s and cervix still thick at 2.8 cm. Told her other OB in group measured me 2.5 weeks ago and I was 1cm, so wtf?

Started having PMS-like cramps after the cervical check that lasted until about 9pm. Took some Tylenol and got into the bathtub to help relieve them. I've been told that they don't like to do cervical checks for this reason-easy to bring on labor. I've been having some painful ctx today, and have been counting anywhere from 4-7/hour. Had a weird experience early this morning while waking up for my hourly bathroom ritual: trickled fluid that I don't think was urine, so maybe was amniotic fluid? Wasn't a gush of water, so would be doubtful that my water has broken, but who knows. Getting ready to call OB here in a minute. Fear the phone call will usher in our 5th admission. Here I go again...

Here is the 35th week (hope I'm not being premature in posting a 35 week update!) info from BabyCenter: "Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight."

Also, didn't post the twins in the womb pic from 32 weeks, so here it is very belated:



Finally, got a updated 3D image of Baby Luke this week, so thought I'd pass it along too. Of course there is the placenta and some feet in his way, but still a face picture. Can't wait to see if these images are pretty accurate!!



Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Hospital Admission: Take Four........And Action!

Sorry for my posting delay. Again. I just don't seem to be able to keep up very well. I'm always astonished that I ever get comments since I'm so inconsistent. So for those of you who hang in there with me, thanks. For the others, I totally understand: BORING!

Okay, I'll get to the story of my 4th hospital admission. After my previous post, I had an OB appt on the next day. I weighed a scary 14 lbs heavier than the week before. Somehow, this was not alarming to my OB?? She originally brushed it off as "normal." I had already decided that it definitely wasn't normal. The alarming factor for her: my shortness of breath and by that time I had also completely lost my voice. I was admitted following the appt for these latest developments.

I was admitted to rule out cardiomyopathy, pulmonary edema, pre-eclampsia, or a bad reaction to my dose of Procardia 20mg every 4 hours. I had an echocardiogram that revealed mitral valve prolapse (which I already had from several years ago) and a new tricuspid valve regurgitation, but I was informed that this is common in pregnancies-especially multiples. So, good news was no cardiomyopathy. As for the pulmonary edema, I also didn't have this by definition.

I was taken off all Procardia at the OB appt and therefore didn't have any more of the blood pressure med once I was admitted to the hospital. With the pre-eclampsia potential diagnosis, my blood pressure never really shot up out of control after going off the meds, so that was really comforting. I also did a 24 hour urine to check for protein, which came back normal. Some of my labwork was of concern, particularly my liver enzymes and platelets. The liver enzymes were elevated, which can occur with pre-e, and my platelets dropped 60,000 from the time I was admitted until the day I was discharged (yes, I really got discharged). I'm still concerned about them because if platelets drop too low, it can mean lots of things, but particular to my condition, would preclude me from getting a spinal or epidural due to the fact that my blood would have trouble clotting. Therefore, I would get general anesthesia for my C-section. That would really sadden me as I would feel cheated in my birth experience. Finally, I have this great fear about bleeding out (and dying) on the OR table following the incisions into my abdomen and uterus if my platelets are too low. Yes, highly unlikely, but a fear just the same. Much more likely would be that I get platelet transfusions to get them back to reasonable level.

Over 3 days, I lost all 14 lbs. I felt like a new woman. Granted I went to the bathroom every hour and was able to donate between 300-500 cc each time! It definitely was the easiest weight loss I've ever achieved. Would love to figure out how to do this in the post-partum. Anyway, after shedding the ridiculous swelling (hard to call it a weight gain) and high blood pressure and protein in the urine never making their appearance, I was discharged. Also, I was able to avoid mag sulfate by keeping my contractions between 4-8/hr. So, I'm officially not on any meds to stop my labor.

And that brings me up-to-date. I still have ctx, but not painful, so I'm not calling the OB until I have regular, painful ctx that are close together (ie, in true labor with progressing dilation) or my water breaks. Of course, if I start exhibiting any signs of pre-eclampsia, then that would send me to delivery. But otherwise, I'm in it for the long haul.

They did growth scans on the babies today: Harry (our future NFL lineman) weighs 5 lbs 14 oz and Luke was 4 lbs 13 oz. No one (other than Steve and me) seems bothered at all by their weight discrepancies. Peri and OB both said they are fraternal and it's therefore like two separate pregnancies. They have both been scoring 8/8 on their biophysical profiles, so that's great! And, my cervix is still hanging in there at 2.8cm. So to sum it all up, we are all doing okay. I thought for sure I would deliver them last week, but I'm feeling and doing much better now, so maybe we're going all the way to 38 weeks. Who knows anymore!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?

I sure hope so...

Been another rough week. Was in the hospital from Mon-Wed with pre-term labor. Only about 1 cm dilated and cervix is still pretty thick at 3cm, but still having lots and lots of contractions, some of which are now painful. I got my steroids on this trip to the hospital and got lucky in that I didn't have to get Mag Sulfate! Only increased my Procardia dose from 10 to 20mg and the contractions began to improve.

There are consequences of course to this new dose: LOTS of swelling and shortness of breath. I can't really speak normally anymore, can only whisper. But the real story is the swelling. OMG. From my hips down to my toes, I'm at least 3 times my normal size. I can't walk really, just kinda shuffle along since I can't bend my feet and lost my ankles a few weeks ago. My knees don't bend either, which makes going to the bathroom every hour definitely more tedious. I kept showing my swollen legs and feet to docs and nurses in the hospital and none seemed to be overly concerned. Hmm...I guess I could chalk it up to my new Procardia dose of 20mg. Just not sure this is normal to me. And, not that I can see the lower ankle area, but my Mom and Aunt said that my bottom feet were turning a little bluish gray color, obviously indicating poor circulation. Just trying to figure out if this is normal or abnormal! Go back in am for another OB appt.

Boys are still growing well. Luke measures in at 4lbs 4 oz and Harry measures in at 4 lbs 13 oz. Yay! They are the only reason I'm hanging in there. I know that sounds like a "duh" statement, but seriously, I don't think I could be doing any of this if it were for myself. I am miserable! If it were me, I would've gone to a dr and said "fix me" several weeks ago! But keeping them at the forefront, I keep thinking I can hang in there for a short period of time. I would like both to be weighing in at 5 lbs, so that should be around 34 weeks. That's 10 more days. That's my goal. Anything beyond that is great, but that's all I think I can do. I'm looking at my poll results thus far and realize that you all have a lot more faith in me than I do in myself! I'm relying on my faith and hope to get me through, but my goodness it's hard!

Thanks for all your kind and sweet remarks on the below post. You all are the best. Trying to get caught back up on your blogs soon!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

"I will survive"

Well, today marks another milestone day: 32 weeks! It also kicks off my new "I will survive" campaign. I hope I can make it all the way to term (37 weeks) for the babies sake. But for me, I'm pretty miserable right now. I can't imagine 5 more weeks! Please no mean comments! I know that probably sounds bad and sounds as if I am putting myself before my boys. But, I swear, I am really running out of steam and definitely not enjoying being pg anymore. I am totally grateful to be pg with these boys and to have come through all we have to get here, but my body just wasn't designed to carry this much weight and two babies. I truly believe that!

For those of you asking on my last post, I'm on modified bedrest and have been for the last couple of weeks. I limit my trips up and down the steps to a few times a day for meals. But, I have my little portable refrigerator plugged up in my bedroom so that I don't have to walk downstairs for snacks, etc anymore. So, where does it hurt? Well, I hurt all the time from bad round ligament pain. I can't get comfortable to go to sleep for very long at night or even naps during the day because of this unrelenting abdominal pain. And this is normal. Okay...

Then, my back aches are just downright disabling. I can't walk upright sometimes. If I could have a strong fist (or tennis ball) at all times in my right shoulder blade, that would be really helpful. I've been told by my doctors that a massage can trigger pre-term labor with me, so those are out. But I will defy them and definitely have another massage again around 36 weeks if I make it that far (which despite all of my above complaints, I still hope to be pg by then). And my knees really hurt too. I guess it's just from too much weight to carry around.

So how big am I? Take a look for yourself, 32 week belly pic...



Let see, there's also the constipation factor. It is HORRIBLE, but I guess I'm lucky since I've had no hemorrhoids so far. And then there is the swollen leg, feet and ankles. I don't fit into shoes anymore (although I have 1 pair of flip flops I cram them into for drs appts). Also, my hands are swollen and I think I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome since I have lots of pain with my right hand especially. My understanding is the swelling causes nerve compression and pain, which leads to carpal tunnel. I guess this is sort of a good excuse for not posting as often as I should (just kidding!). Lucky for me, there's not a lot to do, so I take naps whenever I want during the day! Trying to do what everyone says and rest up before they get here! But, the swelling isn't reduced with rest or elevation. I don't appear to have pre-eclampsia for now (yay!), but they're watching me closely for it.

I'm actually really enjoying bedrest. Haven't missed work at all. Haha. I have a little "project of the day" and set out to accomplish it, whatever it may be. It's nice to get things checked off the to-do list! I haven't turned on any daytime TV yet and hope I don't! I can see myself getting sucked into those soap operas, talk shows, etc. I feel productive this way and so far haven't even thought about TV.

Finally, here are last weeks u/s pictures of my chubby cheeks baby, Harrison. It doesn't appear he's been skipping out on too many meals (little sugar baby)! I love the first one with him yawning and his arms lifted up, how precious?!! Steve told the ultrasonographer how we never got a good 3D pic of Harry. So, she spent a little extra time and took pictures, while he was lying transverse under my ribs. Lucas was in his normal cramped position, head down facing my back, so no pics of him. But we get to see/meet them very soon!!


Saturday, June 13, 2009

"I gots da suga"

I'm quoting my husband on this one. Background story: Christmas 2008 my Dad's side of our family rented a great lake house to spend the holiday season. We played some games, one of which included a game I can't honestly remember the name of, but it was lots of fun. We played on 2 teams of 4 people and you passed around a little screen that displayed a word. The goal was to guess the word as fast as possible and pass the little screen on to the person sitting next to you of the opposing team. Anyway, Steve got the word "diabetes" on the screen. All he said in his description was "I gots da suga" and sadly, we guessed diabetes instantly. Being that we live in Kentucky, there are lots and lots of people with "the suga."

I failed my 3 hour glucose tolerance test last week and therefore was informed I do indeed have gestational diabetes. I was stunned as I only failed the first test (glucose challenge) by 1 point. I guess I already knew I was at a higher risk since I had the following risk factors: 1) I have PCOS and was on Metformin last year; 2) I'm pg with multiples; and 3) have a family history with my Dad and Grandma. Yes, I did eat some extra ice cream during the pg, and I have craved carbs moreso than usual. Then, of course I had the cardinal signs-frequent urination, frequent thirst, frequent hunger, and fatigue. But I am pregnant, so all of these things seemed normal, right?

But, it would seem I do indeed have diabetes. I check my glucose 4 times a day (fasting in morning, and then 2 hours after every meal). I watch what I eat, when I eat, and most importantly what foods I eat together. I learned all of this after my extensive diabetes nurse educator and nutritionist consults in the hospital earlier this week.

That's right: 2nd trip to L&D is in the bag. How did that happen? Well, it was what you might call a series of unfortunate events. I went in for an unscheduled visit on Monday due to some bad cramping and lower abdominal pain (which after all I went through over my 3 hour office visit, we never found the cause). It was my OB's surgery day, so I had to see an ARNP as all the other physicians schedules were filled with their own patients. I will admit that I kinda lost it when delivered the gestational diabetes news. I cried and let my hormones get the best of me. I am pregnant afer all. Then the ARNP decided I needed to have my cervix checked to ensure I wasn't dilating or softening. I will tell all of you, this hurts like hell. Really. I read lots of blogs and don't recall anyone ever complaining about this pain. So, this warning is for the rest of you behind me. It sucks. But, at least I wasn't dilated or effacing.

So, I'm still crying from my diabetes diagnosis and now my body feels completely violated (again), then the ARNP declares I'm getting a non-stress test (NST). Um, that sounds like a good idea. I'm totally stressed out and crying, so let's do a stress test. After she hooked up me and the boys, my contractions were coming regularly every 5 mins and Luke was in distress with HRs in the 170s (he is normally in the 140s). She consults with another OB and then the OB comes in to tell me I'm not heading home after todays appt. And she wants to get aggressive: admit me to the hospital, give me Mag and steroids to help the babies lungs develop. I suggested a more conservative approach: try taking my Procardia and just see if the ctx went away with that first.

After being admitted to the hospital, my ctx had increased to every 3-4 mins. However, the Procardia started kicking in and that spaced out the ctx to every 7-8 mins. They administered a shot of terbutaline (even though I'm slightly allergic with rash, itch, etc) and it got them under better control. By morning I was having about 3-4 ctx an hour, which isn't too bad given our state of affairs. I should say that I wouldn't have argued against the Mag (ie, "flu in a bag") and steroids if I clinically needed it, but happy my approach worked in the end. Upon discharge, my OB did say that I would get both at my next admission. Hmm...seems like she knows there will be another L&D admission before we deliver...Actually, I totally expect it too, just a matter of when.

Growth scans of the babies revealed that Lucas weighs 3 lbs 6 oz and Harrison weighs 3 lbs 13 oz. They are big boys. So, thanks to my new diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, I have new nicknames for all of us: I'm just a Sugar Momma totally in love with her Sugar Babies. :-) I loved Sugar Babies candy when I was little, so seems fitting. Cervix is measuring around 3.7cm these days, but is still closed with no signs of dilation or effacing. Finally, was discharged to home after my diabetes teaching.

Follow up appt yesterday went well overall I suppose. Both babies doing well, Momma is okay for now. However, my swelling/pitting edema has gotten really bad, I've gained 2lbs in just a few days, I'm having some visual changes, and lastly my normally low (100/60 or less) bp has risen to (124/80). And keep in mind I'm on Procardia every 4 hours which actually is decreaing my bp! So, they are going to be keeping a careful eye on me next week in hopes that some of these signs of pre-eclampsia go away. I really hope they do as it can be a scary condition.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Letter to my sons

Boys,

Today is Mommy's birthday. And you don't know it, but for many years my birthday wishes have been for you to come into my life. Every wish made and every tear shed seem to be more of a distant memory with each passing day. My precious, sweet, innocent sons-quite simply: I can't wait to meet you.

Even though I haven't held you yet in my arms, you've held a place in my heart long before you were ever conceived. I've prayed for you, cried for you, and have gone through a lot of heartache to have you. But, I can tell you that it was all worth it. Through everything, I never lost sight of you, never lost hope that I would one day meet you, and you gave me the strength I needed to persevere. Every time I see your little hands and feet, and hear your perfect beating hearts on ultrasounds, I smile. You make me so happy.

I remember the day (Dec. 3, 2008) when I found out I was pregnant with you. That will be one of the best days of my life! What a surprise to know it had finally happened! And then another beautiful day was the day I discovered you both made it and were nestled away inside Mommy's belly-the day of our first ultrasound (Dec. 26, 2008). Daddy and I saw the screen and both immediately knew we were pregnant with twins before the Doctor ever told us. We were so happy-best Day after Christmas present ever!

As you continue to grow in my belly, I am thankful for each additional day you stay inside me and grow. I first felt you kick when I was 18 weeks pregnant, but Daddy couldn't feel you for a few more weeks on the outside of my belly. He loves you both very much as well. I have loved watching you grow every two weeks. You are going to be such big, strong boys! I still enjoy to feel every kick and every movement you make inside me. And you should know that the love both Daddy and I feel for you grows each and every day.

I have had a great pregnancy thanks to you both. I haven't been sick the first day and have generally felt good this whole time. You are the sweetest children for helping Mommy to have a relatively easy pregnancy. I can only pray that you'll continue to help me to have a good pregnancy by not trying to enter this world too early. I need you to stay put for a little less than 2 months. I want more than anything to have you both big and healthy at delivery so that we can take you home with us when I leave the hospital.

I love singing to you, playing songs for you, patting you through my belly and reading to you. I hope you will recognize some of the songs I sing and some of the books I read when we are in your nursery together. I apologize for crying every time I read you "Guess How Much I Love You," but it pretty much sums up how I feel about you.

You make me want to be a better person. I find myself thinking of ways I need to change to be the Mother you deserve. I want to be the best Mommy in the world to you both. I know I will make lots of mistakes along the way, but no matter what, I love you more than anything. I've never known such a powerful, unconditional love before. You will always have Mommy's heart, so please be gentle with it and take care of it.

I want you to know that you can come to me with any problem you may encounter along your life's journey. And even though I know that I won't be able to fix everything for you, I will give you my love and support. You'll teach me probably more about life than I will ever be able to teach you.

You are coming into this world with lots of people loving you so, so much. But, I'm pretty sure no one could ever love you as much as your Mommy does. So, remember, you still have to be Mommy's little boys! Know this-I have loved you forever and will love you forever. I promise to always be there for you and no matter where you may go, I never will be far away (and hopefully will always be in your hearts, as you will always be in mine).

~Mommy

Thursday, May 28, 2009

28 Weeks and definitely counting!

Well, my OB appt. went pretty well this week. Cervix is still closed and long at 4.6cm, so no signs of pre-term labor. The boys seemed to look just fine on the u/s. My OB wants to start seeing me weekly now, so the next appt is on Tuesday (which happens to be my birthday!). I also had my gestational diabetes testing this week. So down went the glucose drink, that I must admit tasted like a sweet Orange Crush. Since it was cold, I just treated it like a shot of alcohol and had it down in no time. It seriously took me less than a minute (lol). Anyway, haven't heard from them yet, so maybe that's a good sign? I really hope it came back okay so I can still enjoy my carbs. I sure do love me some ice cream...

I am still dealing with the pre-term contractions, but haven't had to go back to L&D. The terbutaline was taking care of them pretty well. However, I developed an allergic reaction to it (rash, itching, swelling-yuck), so I'm not taking it anymore. My OB wrote for Procardia as needed for the contractions. I have filled it, but haven't used it yet. She claims that while both drugs worked great for pre-term contractions, there haven't been any large conclusive studies that they actually prevent pre-term labor. Therefore, I'll be taking it only when absolutely necessary to get the contractions under control.



From Baby Center this week: "By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of his head to his heels. He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. With his eyesight developing, he may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. He's also developing billions of neurons in his brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world." I think my boys weigh closer to 3lbs each however, based on their growth patterns!

I don't think I've got too much more in me as it relates to work. I'm so short of breath, just talking to customers wears me out! And as usual, my back KILLS me. So, my days are definitely numbered. Can't wait for a break!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Looks like we made it: 3rd trimester!!

I've got the line now to that Barry Manilow song in my mind, but we are nearly there-3rd trimester begins on Sunday when I'll be 28 weeks!! Woohoo! Have got lots of updates, so bear with me for a long post.

First of all, the much promised nursery pics. I'll present them in kinda a 360 view format. We need to get the valances hung, but have them and the rods available, so that shouldn't take long. And I'll need to get some wall art, but other than that, we are finished! So here they are...oh and notice my Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag somehow makes a cameo appearance on top of the changing pad.







I just love the nursery. Everything feels so new, fresh, and untainted. Just like my sweet baby boys are! I slept in the recliner about a week ago when my acid reflux was so bad I couldn't lay down and that seemed to be the only solution. I predict that will occur again sometime over the next 9 weeks.

Next, have thoroughly enjoyed my baby showers, but have no pictures to produce of them. I forgot my camera every time, so I have to rely upon others to send me their pictures. If any of you are reading this, please hear my plea and send pics. Otherwise, y'all will just have to settle for my words which are that they were so fun! My first one was hosted by my Aunt Vicky and Cousin Molly (and Mom had lots to do with it as well). It was just great seeing everyone from my home town and getting to visit with my family and friends for a bit. We received our Graco DuoGlider Tandem stroller and both Graco Snugride car seats along with 2 extra bases and lots of other great stuff too!

Great weekend with Mothers Day on Sunday, but it did spark a lot of overdoing it which led me to finally identify that I was indeed having contractions. I had been having the muscle flexing sensation infrequently for a few of weeks, but hadn't figured out they were contractions! Anyway, I had 5 for the first hour and slowed down to 4 or less after I drank a lot of water and put my feet up to rest. But, this started something I'll discuss in more detail later.

Second baby shower was hosted by my SIL, Connie, and BF, Stephanie. It included local friends and family. It was great as well! And my nieces, Lauren (14) and Emma (12), got involved and planned the shower games. It was so sweet of them! Such a beautiful shower and the cake was delicious! Steve's Aunt owns a pie shop in town and makes the BEST pies and cakes. She made my shower cake and I swear it was the best I've ever had! Mouth-watering delicious!! We got lots of much needed stuff, including our PNP/Twin Bassinet, Exersaucer and tons of other awesome stuff. Thanks to all for the fantastic gifts!

Finally, my work colleagues threw a little baby shower for me and another friend/co-worker, who is due at the same time as me, yesterday. Loved it! Got my above mentioned PPB diaper bag, FP Rainforest swing, Halo SleepSacks, Avent bottles and a BRU gift card! Such fun and so thoughtful of all of them!

Since I don't have shower pics, I'll post some belly pics. One with the belly "hidden" under clothes and the other with the belly just hanging out!





Had a good peri appt last week. Luke weighed 2lbs3oz and Harry weighed 2lbs5oz. My cervix was still long at 3.9cm and showed no signs of opening. Because of this, the peri wasn't overly concerned about the BH contractions I've been having, but did tell me to watch to see if they became regular and exceed 5 in an hour. Luke's heartrate was 147 and Harry's was 137; Luke was still vertex and Harry still breech.

Fast forward a few days, to this past Tuesday. Worked a normal work day for me, which includes lots of driving, walking, and standing. I did have several contractions throughout the day but hadn't really been counting them well. At the end of the day, I decided to head over to BRU to exchange some outfits that didn't work and get some necessities like crib sheets and onesies. I think that was the tip of the iceberg for me. Starting having many contractions and decided I needed to go home, rest, drink water and count properly. After doing this, I was timing 6 contractions at regular 10 minute intervals. I called my OB the second hour when I'd hit 5 regular ones and they didn't seem to be fading. I was promptly told to head into L&D.

I can now check the first trip to L&D off my list of things to do. My nurse was super nice, which made the experience better. Contractions did not decrease after being admitted, so she gave me my first dose of terbutaline. It worked! Finally got to zero contractions early Wednesday morning, so we were discharged. Followed up with OB later and she gave me a prescription of it to take as needed. However, the drug really made me feel like crap, therefore I will only be taking it when absolutely necessary. Anyway, cervix is still great (actually measured 4.5cm again with no signs of funneling). Have another OB appt next Tuesday. That will be my testing date for GD, so please everyone say prayers that I pass. I love carbs. I really do.

The only good thing that came from all of this was an extended u/s at OB's office on Wed. My u/s tech was able to get some great 3D shots of my beautiful Baby Luke, so here they are. As you all know, I'm an equal opportunity Mommy (EOM), so it pains me to have no photos of Baby Harry (he was facing inward, so all we saw were his back and legs), but I tell him he's beautiful all the time and give him some extra Mommy love pats.





One last thing, Steve and I established the boys first names early on (I think week 8 or something crazy like that). But, we still haven't reached an agreement on our middle names. A little background to some of the names-Paul is my Dad's first name, Lee is my Mom's middle name, Edgar is Steve's Dad's middle name, Steve's first name is Stephen (as is my brother's), and Edward is a name that holds a special place in my heart and mind and those of you who know me well know why. So it's poll time again! Cast your vote and let me know which names you prefer!!

Okay the last thing-for those AI fans out there, you may be sad to not be able to cast votes again until next season, so humor me and let me know your thoughts. Btw, I am a total Adam fan. So, I was disappointed. Kris seems like a really nice guy and has a good voice, but he just doesn't have the talent that Adam does. Adam will be a ROCK STAR. It's so good to see real talent come out of Idol. Kris is better than someone like Taylor Hicks for sure, but I don't feel he'll reach real stardom like only Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood have been able to do as past winners.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

3D/4D U/S pics...

So we headed into a local pregnancy massage center to get our 3D/4D u/s yesterday. I was a little bummed that we didn't get better pictures, but oh well, we did get pictures! Luke was head down was his face towards my back and Harry was transverse with his big feet and and legs in front of his face! But as promised, here are some pics. I do think they look different, so again, pretty convinced we've got fraternals in there! Here is a pic of Baby Luke, who the u/s tech thinks looks like me, and with Harry's legs in his face (poor baby)...



And here is a pic of Baby Harry, who I think looks like Steve...



And finally, a pic of them looking at each other! I can't tell which one is which (bad Mommy!), but one is turned inward looking right and the other is turned inward looking left.



Thanks for checking out my boys!! Off to my baby shower later today, so will post nursery pics and shower pics soon! Happy Mother's Day to each of you out there. I feel that includes those still struggling with infertility, as I always felt I was a Mother in my heart before they were ever in my uterus. Love you all!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Why does time move so quickly?


I think I'm the world's worst blogger. Oh well. Something's gotta give, right? Anyway, I thought I'd at least put a post up with some updates. Above is a twin pic at 24 weeks from BabyCenter.

First of all, my biggest time sucker, work, has gotten the best of me the last couple of weeks. I'm just downright beat when I get home after driving. My back has really been bothering me A LOT over the last week, so I decided I at least needed a massage. Getting my first one since becoming pregnant this Friday (also same day as my 3D/4D u/s)!! Yippee! But, my OB also has helped matters. She put me on some travel restrictions that began last Thursday. I'm not supposed to be driving more than 60-90 minutes from home anymore. That's really good. My back began hurting last week when I did a 3 hour drive on Monday, followed with a 5 hour drive on Wednesday and finally, a 4 hour drive on Thursday. No wonder, huh? I think she would've been fine to leave the restrictions at 60 minutes, but I pushed the limit to 90 so that I could accommodate my Louisville customers.

Yes, I'm an overachieving idiot who feels too much obligation to help everyone else around me. Always have. Case in point: I was in group therapy one semester in college to work on some "stuff". At the end of the semester, everyone was talking about how much they had gained from the group. I couldn't (and incidentally none of the other group participants or leaders) come up with one thing I had actually worked on to help me. I spent the entire semester trying to help others get better without ever talking about myself or working on my own issues. That's who I am. I really hate that sometimes about me. Here I am: pregnant with twins. When do I start putting them first? I'm tired and you're getting a non-perky Jill writing this post.

Obviously, I had my 24 week OB appt. on Thursday based on above. Things went well. Boys are both doing well and my cervix still is cooperating. Luke is head down, but Harry is breech. No other changes to discuss and next appt. is with peri on May 14. Will get to experience the glucose challenge test at next OB appt. Can't wait for that one (lol). Crossing fingers that all goes well. Love carbs-fixed spaghetti for dinner earlier!

Biggest news: nursery is almost complete! Just have to hang valances and get some wall art and that's about it! We were able to move quickly with the nursery after I changed my mind and decided against hardwood and got new carpet laid instead. I realize hardwood would've looked better, but there was going to be a delay of a few weeks to get it installed and honestly, I was nearing a "nursery break down". Yes, I'm only 25 weeks, but I was having dreams and strong anxiety about babies arriving early with no room of their own. I realize some people wait until after the baby (don't know any twin Moms) is born to decorate nursery. I am not wired that way and need to accomplish things that are in my control while that's still possible, so I'm happy with my change of mind. So, first we got the walls painted and then we got the carpet removed and new carpet laid. Next, my chair was delivered from LaZBoy. Then, my Dad and Steve put the cribs together! My favorite moment of all-putting on the bedding (thanks for your help Carolyn!!). Finally, the changing table and chest of drawers were brought upstairs from the garage. Sorry for the play-by-play without pictures. Can you take pity on a tired pregnant lady and give me a few more days to download? I promise to do so, hopefully in next post.

Oh, other things we've done in the past week: got our home re-financed at a great new rate!, gathered items for a yard sale (thanks Mom and Vicky for your help in selling the items!), attended an out-of-town wedding, attended a parenting seminar (yes, I'm a little nutty, but it was a great topic about getting kids to explore the outside more often and basically what kinds of kids we're raising today with no outdoor playtime and exploration in nature), working on finalizing on new trust documents before the boys arrive, I got new manager at work who began last week, and finally (not so much me on this one) getting basement back in order after painters have completed their work. It looks great! Carpet getting cleaned this week so that I can put that project to rest! Lots of nesting going on in my home right now. Yay!!

A 25-week update from BabyCenter: "Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. He's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

23 weeks

First of all, Steve's grandmother died on Monday, so we had the funeral today. She is in peace now and we are at peace with that. I do get saddened when I think of the boys never getting to meet her, but we'll just have to be sure to tell them her funny stories and describe to them what a great lady she was.

Still working on basement, but will have Maggie fully moved down there this weekend. So, I will have all of her furniture moved out of the soon-to-be nursery very soon. We are planning to put lots of stuff in a neighborhood garage sale on Saturday, so we are cleaning the house over the next couple of days. First thing on the nursery list is to remove the carpet so we can start putting down hardwood. I have all of the babies furniture in the garage, just waiting to move them upstairs as soon as possible. Painting room a pretty green (sage) color. I promise to take pictures!

Also getting excited about my upcoming baby showers! My Aunt Vicky and Cousin Molly are hosting my first shower in my hometown on May 9th. Here is the sweet invitation...



And Molly came up with this creative little insert-love it!! So cute!!



My second baby shower will take place on May 17th. My SIL and BF are hosting this one. It's my local shower which will include friends and family. Thanks Connie and Stephanie-love you both very much! Can't wait!

From BabyCenter this week..."Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With his sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that he's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see him squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing him for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze him when he hears them outside the womb."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

22 weeks and babies have surpassed 1 lb!!

Harry Face Pic



Luke Face Pic



Mommy Belly Pic



Good check-up this week at the perinatologist office. Harry weighs in at 1 lb 4 oz. and Luke is close at 1 lb 3 oz, which is right on schedule! This is so exciting to me as I've always thought of this as being a big milestone. Both looked perfect and actually were very well-behaved during the u/s. And my cervix was closed, measured 4.5cm, and had no funneling, so no signs of pre-term labor. Woohoo!

Unfortunately, we don't have great pics this week. The u/s tech didn't do a good job at getting some good pics for us. I found myself saying "That's a good picture" just to get her to take one and print it out. Oh well. We've had her 3 different times, so I should be used to it, but I'd really rather have someone else.

On a sad note, Steve's grandmother fell this week and hit her head. She suffered a hemorrhagic stroke and won't make it out of this. She is 90, but was in overall good health. We will miss her very much. I'm sad that our boys won't get to meet her. We really didn't see this coming.

Per Baby Center this week-"At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily."

Finally, one of my dear friends got her long-awaited and well-deserved positive pregnancy test this week. If you don't know Emily, please stop by and wish her congratulations! I'm so happy for her!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

21 weeks and I finally get the stranger acknowledgement

I am pregnant, no doubt about it. I kept wondering when I was gonna receive the "Congrats on your pregnancy" from random strangers. Finally got it a few days ago!

Steve and I were at the horse track on Sunday, which I might add did not benefit us financially at all. I never cashed one ticket. But we had fun. Anyway, I headed off to the ladies room and got in line. Then all of a sudden the lead gal in line says, "Momma-you can jump in front of us. You get the next open stall." I was thrilled for 2 reasons: 1) someone was being so kind as to actually think of a pregnant gal and 2) a stranger acknowledged my bulging belly! I laughed at the lady and told her that I would've taken her up on it in my first trimester, but my bladder is a little better now that I'm in my second. She went ahead as scheduled, but the next lady wasn't letting me get out of it so quickly. She insisted I should go before her anyway. I obliged. What sweet people!

Pregnant belly very obvious to strangers: CHECK!

So, I'm on to 21 weeks this week. Things are going well. I love feeling the babies move. I love talking to them. I also bought them their very first book this week: "Goodnight Moon." One of my favorites when I was a little girl. I have been reading it to them at night before we go to sleep. I can't wait for our nightly storytime when they get here.

I realize that last line was a very positive statement. I hope these babies will stay in their current home for another 16 weeks. I really do. I worry a lot (I know, I know) that something will happen and I'll deliver early. This week a girl from one of my message boards (many of you may know or at least heard her story over the past week) gave birth to her twins at 24w1d. Her son died 2 days later and her daughter died the following day after him. How completely and utterly tragic. That's only 2.5 weeks from now at this point in my pregnancy. Too soon, too scary, too real. Also, scratching "24 week viability" from my vocabulary and brain. Obviously, some babies aren't viable at 24 weeks.

From Baby Center and The Bump this week: "Your baby now weighs about 13.9 ounces and is approximately 10.5 inches long — the length of a carrot or a banana. You may soon feel like he's practicing martial arts as his initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to his activity as you get to know him better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now. Baby also gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch."

Friday, April 3, 2009

Basketball, Bluegrass & Bourbon

Strange combination, but let me explain. All of them make Lexington, Kentucky the unique place that it is!

First there is our love for basketball. Most of you know that I'm a huge football fan, from Little League to High School to College to the NFL, I love (and follow) all of it! What I don't often talk about, but is equally dear to my heart, is Kentucky basketball. I don't follow any other team (did not watch March Madness since we missed the NCAA tourney) from college or pros, but I do love our Kentucky basketball. Yes, it's basically a religion here. Yes, people definitely need to find other things to do and obsess about. But, when we got our new coach this week, I admit to being equally obsessed. I already love Coach Calipari (he was actually the Coach I wanted the last time we had a coaching change)! You may ask yourself, who cares-for goodness sakes, it's just basketball! But, again think basketball=religion and you'll understand why I care!

Kentucky basketball is: No. 1 in all-time wins (1,985), No. 1 in NCAA tournament appearances (50), No. 1 in NCAA tournament games (145), No. 1 in NCAA tournament wins (100), No. 1 in Associated Press poll No. 1 finishes (8) and No. 1 in SEC titles (43), winning more than the other 11 SEC teams combined. Finally, there are also those (7) national championships and (13) Final Four appearances. We pack 24,000+ fans every winter into our beloved Rupp Arena!! Below is a snapshot of a very devoted Wildcats fan, Ashley Judd.





Next, there is the beautiful Bluegrass state. I have traveled around the U.S. quite a bit and have lived in Naples, Florida previously (which I did love). However, I remember getting tears in my eyes when the plane would touch down in Lexington while I still lived in Florida. It is the one of most beautiful places to fly into. You come in over horse farms and our famous horse racing track, Keeneland. Gorgeous green grass (not blue-lol) with beautiful white fences, it is known as the horse capital of the world. We have horse racing in Lexington only 6 weeks out of the year. Of those, 3 weeks of racing occur in April and 3 weeks occur in October. So, we are very limited in our "live" racing fun here. Spring season starts today and will run through April 24. Steve and I plan on heading to the track this weekend. Always fun! I wish I had some of my old Derby pics in hats and fancy dresses, etc on this computer, but I don't and I'm lazy and I'm pregnant. So, I'll just load an older pic of some of my nieces and nephews and step-daughter from a Fall day at the track.



And, there is a family pic from this same day at the track of Steve, Maggie, and me. Not one of our best, but a pic just the same.





Finally, here are some "true" bluegrass pics, from the horses we adore to the local farms where they reside...








Finally, bourbon. Kentucky is the bourbon whiskey capital of the world. 95% of all bourbon is made here in Kentucky. It's an acquired taste, but one that I find pretty yummy. You can put it in recipes, mix it with cola or water, or drink it on the rocks. I've done all of the above and tend to stick to recipes and Diet Coke mixes. In case you're wanting to try bourbon sometime, I'll make a few suggestions. The best selling of bourbon in the world? Jim Beam. The best mixing with cola bourbon? Maker's Mark. Reasonably priced and tastes great with Diet Coke. I should mention that I'm a Maker's Mark Ambassador and that I've had a barrel named in my honor. Just for the record, I did not have to drink any specific amount to become an ambassador...However, the bourbon I prefer to drink? Woodford Reserve. I drink it with Diet Coke, but get made fun of for ruining good bourbon by mixing it with cola from hard core bourbon drinkers . LOVE IT! Other fantastic bourbons to try if you get a chance (they are all small batch bourbons, so not easily found): Basil Hayden, Booker's, Knob Creek, and Blanton's.





If you want to try a good bourbon mixed drink, the mint julep is the most famous (think similar to a mojito). It's the official drink of the Kentucky Derby. Also, bourbon martinis are delicious. Steve and I had these Kentucky martinis as our "signature drink" at our wedding. I would post the recipe if I could remember it, but can't find it!

Hope you enjoyed my Kentucky "love" post! I just thought I'd share my adoration with you!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Sorry for all the confusion!

To all my faithful blog reader friends-I'm so sorry! As you all know, I've been wanting to make a blog name change for a while. When I finally came up with my new name, I went forward with changing not only the name, but also the address. I never thought it would be so difficult for everyone with my blog listed on their Google Readers and Blog Rolls.

I did figure this out in less than 2 hours and tried to go back to the "Desperately Seeking Spawn" address. As most of you have now found, someone snatched up my old name VERY quickly. I do not find it to be of any coincidence since it would appear she is heading to CCRM. So, for all of you clicking on my old name and finding this strange person, I'm sorry. Completely my mistake and one that I quickly tried to correct. But it would appear someone has been stalking my blog, waiting for me to change names, and then snatching it right up and discussing CCRM. I wish her the best and hope she gets pregnant, as it was my mistake, but what a mess!

On to better topics, I have a belly pic! I'm getting there!! This one was taken a week ago, so I'll have to take another soon. But, here I am at 19w4d...



Had an OB appt. today! No u/s, although the Doppler picked up both heartbeats and kicks and movements!! Luke was low (lol) and hanging out near my left pelvic bone kicking and moving up a storm and Harry was high (lol) up in my right rib cage where I do feel him often. He was there last night too and I had to sleep sitting up thanks to all the pressure on my ribs which makes it hard to breathe!

I check all the time to see if I see a head or a foot jab through my body, but so far, nothing. I guess they're still too little! But, I feel them moving A LOT, so I'm very thankful for that. I love being pregnant and I love these little boys so much!

Hope to post some nursery pics in a few weeks. Still not started on it!