Sunday, June 21, 2009

"I will survive"

Well, today marks another milestone day: 32 weeks! It also kicks off my new "I will survive" campaign. I hope I can make it all the way to term (37 weeks) for the babies sake. But for me, I'm pretty miserable right now. I can't imagine 5 more weeks! Please no mean comments! I know that probably sounds bad and sounds as if I am putting myself before my boys. But, I swear, I am really running out of steam and definitely not enjoying being pg anymore. I am totally grateful to be pg with these boys and to have come through all we have to get here, but my body just wasn't designed to carry this much weight and two babies. I truly believe that!

For those of you asking on my last post, I'm on modified bedrest and have been for the last couple of weeks. I limit my trips up and down the steps to a few times a day for meals. But, I have my little portable refrigerator plugged up in my bedroom so that I don't have to walk downstairs for snacks, etc anymore. So, where does it hurt? Well, I hurt all the time from bad round ligament pain. I can't get comfortable to go to sleep for very long at night or even naps during the day because of this unrelenting abdominal pain. And this is normal. Okay...

Then, my back aches are just downright disabling. I can't walk upright sometimes. If I could have a strong fist (or tennis ball) at all times in my right shoulder blade, that would be really helpful. I've been told by my doctors that a massage can trigger pre-term labor with me, so those are out. But I will defy them and definitely have another massage again around 36 weeks if I make it that far (which despite all of my above complaints, I still hope to be pg by then). And my knees really hurt too. I guess it's just from too much weight to carry around.

So how big am I? Take a look for yourself, 32 week belly pic...



Let see, there's also the constipation factor. It is HORRIBLE, but I guess I'm lucky since I've had no hemorrhoids so far. And then there is the swollen leg, feet and ankles. I don't fit into shoes anymore (although I have 1 pair of flip flops I cram them into for drs appts). Also, my hands are swollen and I think I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome since I have lots of pain with my right hand especially. My understanding is the swelling causes nerve compression and pain, which leads to carpal tunnel. I guess this is sort of a good excuse for not posting as often as I should (just kidding!). Lucky for me, there's not a lot to do, so I take naps whenever I want during the day! Trying to do what everyone says and rest up before they get here! But, the swelling isn't reduced with rest or elevation. I don't appear to have pre-eclampsia for now (yay!), but they're watching me closely for it.

I'm actually really enjoying bedrest. Haven't missed work at all. Haha. I have a little "project of the day" and set out to accomplish it, whatever it may be. It's nice to get things checked off the to-do list! I haven't turned on any daytime TV yet and hope I don't! I can see myself getting sucked into those soap operas, talk shows, etc. I feel productive this way and so far haven't even thought about TV.

Finally, here are last weeks u/s pictures of my chubby cheeks baby, Harrison. It doesn't appear he's been skipping out on too many meals (little sugar baby)! I love the first one with him yawning and his arms lifted up, how precious?!! Steve told the ultrasonographer how we never got a good 3D pic of Harry. So, she spent a little extra time and took pictures, while he was lying transverse under my ribs. Lucas was in his normal cramped position, head down facing my back, so no pics of him. But we get to see/meet them very soon!!


19 comments:

ashley said...

I think we "pregnant after many years of infertility" girls need to remember that just because we struggled so hard to get to the place we are now does not negate our right to complain about our aches and pains. It's only natural. Our bodies are doing incredible things and it can be, and is, more than difficult to handle at times. Just because we voice these "complaints" does not make us any less worthy of the pregnancy then any other woman. You're doing an awesome job growing your boys. You WILL SURVIVE! Keep up the good work!

DAVs said...

Hang in there! Hoping the next five weeks go quickly!!

hopeful #1 said...

This is the part that I understand can just be the most miserable. I'm sorry that it's hitting you hard... just think of your two little men and know that the end will be worth it!

I'm thinking of you and hoping for comfort as much as possible for the next few weeks!

Jill M. said...

Wow Jill, you're really coming along. I'm sorry that the pg fun is over. I asked my pg friend who overcame IF if the m/s and all the pain was easier to deal with since she was just so happy to be pg.. and she said NO, miserable is miserable. So if you're miserable, complain all you want and don't let IF rob you of the right to say you are miserable. It's easy for us that are still ttc to say, oh I'd love to have m/s right now... the reality is, we don't know what we're talking about. Just because someone deals with IF doesn't mean that have to smile their entire pg and never once admit to pain. Hang in there, you're almost there!

Just Another Infertile said...

That is a cute picture of Harrison! Very precious.

I'm glad you're getting some rest. Did they tell you how far along you'd be measuring for a singleton pregnancyI?

You are doing great! Hang in there. It won't be much longer now.

Suzanne said...

I am seeing a glimpse into my future! :)

Hang in there! Making it to 32 weeks is BIG milestone!

MDZ said...

You have every right to complain. I carried only a singleton and by 36 weeks, I was DONE being pregnant. The last 4 weeks before the birth at 40 weeks were bad. I think I might have gotten more sleep after the baby was born than before! Good luck and hang in there! We're all pulling for you out here in the blogosphere.

Lorrie said...

Your son is so adorable.

I hope the next few weeks pass quickly and uneventfully.

Chelle said...

What a huge milestone!! Congratulations!

I was wondering how you were doing physically (to see what I have in store for myself)!

You are doing great! I hope the next 5 weeks flies by so we can meet the boys!

Penny said...

I know your pain - complain away! After all, you never did the IVF so you could be pregnant forever - you did it to get babies. Pregnancy's just a means to an end, just like the shots and the ER, etc, and surely no one thinks twice for not exactly liking all those needles. Yay 5 more weeks!

Emily said...

32 weeks!?! Where has the time gone? I am so sorry you are a miserable mama right now and I hope you get some relief soon (but the babies can keep on cookin for awhile!)Love that belly and the new u/s pics - I just want to squeeeeeeze those cheeks. I am having Jill withdrawl. Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?

Wendy said...

Sorry you're not feeling well.

The pictures of the boys are pretty neat - the 3D u/s is such a cool thing. I always thought that would be neat to do.

Zarema said...

For constipation, I would suggest trying to eat lots of strawberries or raspberries or blackberries -- those have little seeds that seem to work wonders for my 'digestion' and helping 'stuff' move along. I am also pg with twins, probably just a few days behind you. I SOOO know what and how you feel now! Let's just hang in there.

Pink-CJ said...

You sound like me at 32 weeks! UGH! I know how u feel!! Good luck

M. said...

Jeez, Jill -- I can't believe you don't love being 32 weeks pregnant and totally uncomfortable and swollen and icky. There must be something wrong with you ;-) You are such a rockstar for making it to 32 weeks!! I have a gift for you -- I'm so sorry I haven't sent it yet. Things have been so hectic. No excuse, just wanted you to know I haven't forgotten :) Take care of yourself, mama!

meinsideout said...

You poor thing, I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. My one girlfriend is pregnant with only one - and she has gained 50 pounds and she is only at 23 weeks. She has carpal tunnel from the pregnancy too as well as high blood pressure. We are hoping that she does not get preeclampsia or worse...

Blossom and Her Fruit said...

ugh! I'd be ready to be done too. If it wasn't for making the kids develop fully, I think there would be a long line of ladies inducing about 32 weeks. hang in there, pretty girl.

Beth & Brian said...

Hang in there, girl! You can do it!

Sky said...

Jill, don't feel funny being "done" with this whole pregnancy thing. Just because you were infertile and tried so hard to achieve what you have doesn't mean you will now live the rest of your life as a Stepford wife. There will be days your teenage sons make you so angry, you'll want to toss them against the wall.

Overcoming infertility is no different than overcoming unemployment or finding a partner after what seemed like a lifetime of searching. You will STILL be human and though your gratitude is far greater than for someone who never had to endure the struggle, you'll still have moments that you're less than thrilled with.

Just hoping the physical strain doesn't get worse and that the time flies. Can't wait to see a pic of the beauties!