I know I've been gone a while...but I needed a break from everything. So, what's been going on since my last post? A lot!
First of all, I had my wtf phone discussion with Dr. A. He suggested I have a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy. Really? Funny-I asked him for a lap and additional testing after IVF#1 failed. Boo! He also thought that after the lap if they did find endometriosis, then by opening up the "natural channels of conception" that my chances of success would be high. He even suggested that I could do an injectable IUI cycle instead of an IVF cycle. What? Why would I go back to an IUI? I don't like to move backwards in anything! He also recommended transferring 3 embies next time and doing assisted hatching. Again--I asked for both of these with IVF#2. Finally, he feels my chances of success (following a lap) are still excellent and even offered to place me into the shared risk program, where we pay $20,000 and if they aren't successful we get our money back. My thoughts? While I like to still be considered an "excellent candidate," I'm pissed! If he had done a better job at finding out why we are having trouble instead of just throwing me into IVF hell, then maybe I could respect his thoughts a little more. As it is, I no longer trust him and am ready to move on. I told him that I will be consulting with Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM. He was astonished and commented, "Well, obviously, he is excellent." He did offer to remain my local center for b/w and initial u/s that take place prior to heading to Denver. Rather than meet another local RE and have 3 different ones on my case, I think I'll just do the few non-Denver appts. at IRH. They can't mess that up.
Denver? Well, we are set for our phone consult on June 10. I had an enormous amount of paperwork to complete, but I got it all in yesterday before my June 3 deadline. Yeah! I like being ahead of schedule!
We had a wonderful time in Chicago last weekend! It did us so much good to get away. Can't wait for more summer get aways!
Me? I feel more like the old Jill! Yeah! I started taking Wellbutrin XL following my failed cycle. It took about a week, but I'm back! I'm not perfect--I still have my bitter moments, but I feel so much better. Some of my friends commented this week that I looked happier, sounded happier, etc. That made me feel good.
Diet and exercise--oh my! I have been watching every morsel of food that enters my mouth since Tuesday. Result: I've lost 1 lb. Not much. I've got at least 20lbs. more to go. But, it's a start. I made it to the gym 3 times this week and busted my butt! I also did a walking/running stint on the treadmill. So, 4 workouts in 4 days. Not bad! Steve? Well, he's been dieting too and has lost 13 lbs. in 2 weeks. That's so unfair. Men!
I received 2 amazing cards in the mail this past week. One from my friend Christi and another from my friend Nicole. Christi-thank you so much for lifting my spirits! I am so thankful to have found such wonderful friends like you and Emily through this difficult IF process. Thanks for being, well, you! And Nicole, I'm so happy for you honey. You are going to make an amazing Mommy. Thanks for remembering me at my low points when I know you are on Cloud 9. It's so thoughtful of you!
I had my first girl's night out in well, I can't remember how long! It was great! I went to see "Sex and the City" last night with my friends Stephanie and Gina. It was such a great movie! I've been a huge fan since Day 1 and have missed the show so much since it last aired on HBO. Usually these kinds of movies aren't very good, but this one was! Yeah for good movies and good friends!!
Finally, my birthday is this Monday, June 2. I'll be 33. I've not exactly been looking forward to it as the thought of the last year of my life remaining stagnant truly saddens me. But, thanks to pharmaceuticals, I'm probably not as down as I would be, so that's something, right? And, I've got lots to be thankful for--good marriage, good family, good friends, good career, and good health (or at least from what's been assessed so far-ha!). So even though I didn't get the only thing I asked for when I blew out my candles last year, I somehow still have hope that this next year will be different. Three is my favorite number after all and with my age being 33, that's gotta be double the good luck, right? Thanks for indulging my silliness...
To my blogger friends: I look forward to catching up on your posts. Sorry I've been away! I hope many good things have happened to all of you since I've been gone.
What I Wore this Summer
1 month ago