Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stim check #3 and a big thank you!

I wanted to give a quick update: After 7.5 days of stims, my estrogen=611 (LH=0.8 and PG=0.2). I have several follies on the right ovary and the left ovary has the bigger follies (17, 15) plus a bunch of smaller ones. No med changes. I'm going to try speak to a doctor tomorrow (Dr. Schoolcraft is out of town for the holiday weekend) as I don't feel I'm progressing as I should be. I have a high AFC (25-30), so I think I should have many more (and larger) follies than they are counting on the u/s. Also, they have such a lack of uniformity in size, which is again different from IVF#1 and #2. I wonder if the dexamethasone is oversuppressing me and also wonder if I'm on enough stims...potential ER next Tuesday.

I'm just scared to death. I talked to one of my friends yesterday about how with IVF#1, I never thought for a second that we would fail. I assumed we would get pg (ha!). With IVF#2, I never felt confident that we would succeed and assumed failure for most of the time following my transfer. With this one, I just don't know. On one hand, I want to put complete trust and faith into the hands of CCRM and their magical lab and embryologists. But on the other hand, I have experience with this crap. And, I'm a person who likes to take control of a situation that appears to be going awry. Crap.

Now, my big thank you to each and every one of my blogger friends. I am utterly surprised every time I write a post that anyone ever even reads it, much less responds to me with such incredible kindness and support. I originally started a blog in order to jot my thoughts down (ie, journal) and planned to have a nice little journey from IF to pregnancy to baby. While that may still come true at some point in the future, the here and now is important too. So, I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for all the kind words and support you have shown me over the past several months. The kindness of complete strangers is at times one of the greatest gifts anyone can ever receive, so from the bottom of my heart, I thank you very, very much.


Lost in Space said...

You stated my exact thoughts for IVF#1 and #2. I completely understand not knowing what to expect for #3. One of the hardest parts of this is releasing so much control to our doctors.

I really hope you get the reassurance that you are looking for right now on your cycle. It still sounds like you are progressing nicely.

Sending lots of love right back at you. I too would be lost without my blogger buddies. (:

Jen said...

I hope the doctor can give you the answers you need! I know with my 2nd IVF, I stimmed way slower, and only had one or two big follicles. By the end, everything caught up and I had a much more successful ER, ET and freeze rate. I'm hoping the same for you! :)

g said...

i was also the same with IVF 1-3... 1- i thought Yah this is it!
... 2- Oh no wil this work (ended in m/c)
... 3- i was petrified! got cx half way though
... 4- numb just numb
& . 5- this one i am just neutral BUT controlling at the same time... i know what works and what didnt... and Dr. Sch wants to do what didnt work and i am again petrified.. and also tring my best to put my trust in them.. Gosh its so hard!
BUT thats all we can do right!! what choice do we have.. We have to keep reminding oursleves that WE ARE IN THE BEST CAPABLE HANDS!
they dont have those sucess rates for NOT knowing what they are doing right! LOL... Keep the faith girl!! your doing great!! and remember the trigger always plumps up those ones you dont see! ;)

~Jess said...

Like you, I always have to be in control. Hopefully things catch up and turn out perfect.


beth said...

Love the respect my opinion !!!!!!!!! Good for you to not go along with the yeah Im here for the dNC....

HOpe Steve arrives(ed) safely! STAY POSITIVE !!!!!!
Forget you know what you know!!! You are too sMarT!heheheheheh

TrusT those embryologists...thEy are going to make this happen!!!!!!


Remember the ultrasound is only 1D...there are a TON that they are unable to see!!! and wiLL retrieve at ER!!!!!! Remember to ask anesthesiologist for a little something X-tra~!!!!!! hahah

I am so excited for you....You will be in my thoughts all day Tuesday!!!!! GET LOTS OF GATORADE!!!!! It helped me sooooo much!!! Don't do a thing!!!!!!! Lots of room service and restin' that uterus for y0uR embies return!!!!!!!

huGe loVe

DAVs said...

Jill I hope you can talk to the doctor to put you at ease. I know it's hard not to trust in what they're doing, but so far I've seen such good results from them, even when things seemed kind of crazy along the way.
How long did you stim on IVFs 1 and 2? Did they tell you to expect 10 days of stimming this go around?

HANG IN THERE! Big hugs from Austin!

Karen said...

Hi Jill, I have been hoping and praying for you on the sidelines for all of your IVF's! I know this one is going to work for you, you have so much strength and dedication that your prayers will be answered. All my positive thoughts and prayers to you for this upcoming Thursday! Have a great holiday weekend!


Beth said...

I just found your blog and wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Penny said...

I hope you get some reassurances from your doctor! Things still sound good to me, but what do I know.

Things are moving along!

Jen said...

Try to hang in there. I know it's tough not to second guess everything, but I bet they have your back.
Take care... I'm following along with bated breath.

M. said...

Aw, Jill, you deserve this kind of support. You are quite an excellent supporter of the rest of us, too, you know! I'm glad you're going to talk to the doctor, and I hope he can give you the information you need. I've still got everything crossed for you. We're going out of town this week, but I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday :)

tryingtoconceive said...

Some of the best advice I ever got from a friend regarding my concerns was - ASK!!! No matter what they say, you will feel better for having an answer. So, I hope you talk to a doctor and that puts you at ease.

And, like my nurse told me during my last cycle when I was getting down because I didn't have very many follies - IT ONLY TAKES ONE!!!