Saturday, May 31, 2008

Yes, I'm still a blogger...

I know I've been gone a while...but I needed a break from everything. So, what's been going on since my last post? A lot!

First of all, I had my wtf phone discussion with Dr. A. He suggested I have a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy. Really? Funny-I asked him for a lap and additional testing after IVF#1 failed. Boo! He also thought that after the lap if they did find endometriosis, then by opening up the "natural channels of conception" that my chances of success would be high. He even suggested that I could do an injectable IUI cycle instead of an IVF cycle. What? Why would I go back to an IUI? I don't like to move backwards in anything! He also recommended transferring 3 embies next time and doing assisted hatching. Again--I asked for both of these with IVF#2. Finally, he feels my chances of success (following a lap) are still excellent and even offered to place me into the shared risk program, where we pay $20,000 and if they aren't successful we get our money back. My thoughts? While I like to still be considered an "excellent candidate," I'm pissed! If he had done a better job at finding out why we are having trouble instead of just throwing me into IVF hell, then maybe I could respect his thoughts a little more. As it is, I no longer trust him and am ready to move on. I told him that I will be consulting with Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM. He was astonished and commented, "Well, obviously, he is excellent." He did offer to remain my local center for b/w and initial u/s that take place prior to heading to Denver. Rather than meet another local RE and have 3 different ones on my case, I think I'll just do the few non-Denver appts. at IRH. They can't mess that up.

Denver? Well, we are set for our phone consult on June 10. I had an enormous amount of paperwork to complete, but I got it all in yesterday before my June 3 deadline. Yeah! I like being ahead of schedule!

We had a wonderful time in Chicago last weekend! It did us so much good to get away. Can't wait for more summer get aways!

Me? I feel more like the old Jill! Yeah! I started taking Wellbutrin XL following my failed cycle. It took about a week, but I'm back! I'm not perfect--I still have my bitter moments, but I feel so much better. Some of my friends commented this week that I looked happier, sounded happier, etc. That made me feel good.

Diet and exercise--oh my! I have been watching every morsel of food that enters my mouth since Tuesday. Result: I've lost 1 lb. Not much. I've got at least 20lbs. more to go. But, it's a start. I made it to the gym 3 times this week and busted my butt! I also did a walking/running stint on the treadmill. So, 4 workouts in 4 days. Not bad! Steve? Well, he's been dieting too and has lost 13 lbs. in 2 weeks. That's so unfair. Men!

I received 2 amazing cards in the mail this past week. One from my friend Christi and another from my friend Nicole. Christi-thank you so much for lifting my spirits! I am so thankful to have found such wonderful friends like you and Emily through this difficult IF process. Thanks for being, well, you! And Nicole, I'm so happy for you honey. You are going to make an amazing Mommy. Thanks for remembering me at my low points when I know you are on Cloud 9. It's so thoughtful of you!

I had my first girl's night out in well, I can't remember how long! It was great! I went to see "Sex and the City" last night with my friends Stephanie and Gina. It was such a great movie! I've been a huge fan since Day 1 and have missed the show so much since it last aired on HBO. Usually these kinds of movies aren't very good, but this one was! Yeah for good movies and good friends!!

Finally, my birthday is this Monday, June 2. I'll be 33. I've not exactly been looking forward to it as the thought of the last year of my life remaining stagnant truly saddens me. But, thanks to pharmaceuticals, I'm probably not as down as I would be, so that's something, right? And, I've got lots to be thankful for--good marriage, good family, good friends, good career, and good health (or at least from what's been assessed so far-ha!). So even though I didn't get the only thing I asked for when I blew out my candles last year, I somehow still have hope that this next year will be different. Three is my favorite number after all and with my age being 33, that's gotta be double the good luck, right? Thanks for indulging my silliness...

To my blogger friends: I look forward to catching up on your posts. Sorry I've been away! I hope many good things have happened to all of you since I've been gone.


Steph said...

I had fun last night. So glad we got to have a girls' night out. And I'm glad you're feeling more like your old self. As far as I'm concerned, Wellbutrin is the miracle drug. I bet you start losing weight soon too (and you know that I don't think you need to - CERTAINLY not 20 pounds)- it helped me.

Jill said...

Good to see you back! Good luck with CCRM and your weight loss goals, and have a GREAT birthday!

Jen said...

I'm so glad to see you popping up on my Google Reader!! Yay!
Sounds like you're in a pretty good place right now and I'm glad to hear you're feeling back to normal.
If you have a sec, can you send me an email? It's jennepper at hotmail dot com I have a few questions I'd like to ask you (if you're willing, that is).
Good luck with everything!!

seriously? said...

Glad to see you back, I have been reading for a while and was thinking about you.

Good luck with your consult. I hope to hear more.

The Wright's said...

Hi Jill!!

3 Things:
-I'm SO glad you're back and feeling better about a lot of things in general.
-I'm sitting here pissed for you! Those steps do seem to be a bit backward, but maybe you're just too good for the doc...he's a few steps behind you!
-So excited to hear that you're going to HH for vacation! We went with IL's, too, and had an absolutely amazing time! I might post a few pics on my IF blog, but definitely on my RL blog, probably tomorrow. I'll be very jealous when you head off...missing the sun and beach already!

Wendy said...

Jill - I'm so glad you're doing better. I saw your post on my blog and wanted to check yours out, too. :) I'm glad you got to talk to you RE, but I'm so frustrated for you that he didn't do the things you had asked him about. Ugh. Sounds like a good idea to move on with a different doctor - let us know how it goes. I'm glad the Wellbutrin helped and that you've been feeling a bit better.
BTW - I saw Sex and the City last night. It was SO good. I'm also a huge fan of the show.

Finally - Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day. :)

Ariella said...

I think CCRM is a good choice and you are right your RE shuld have done the lap and such BEFORE IVF2.

I am glad you had a good time with friends seeing SATC. I can't wait to see it.

Emily said...

Yay! We're back! Sounds like things are moving in the right direction. POO-POO to your Dr - he should have listened to you the
1st time around. I am so glad you are feeling better...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Karen said...

Hi Jill, I am so glad you are back, I have been thinking about you and hoping you are doing well. You sound so happy which I am so glad for you. I have been down in the dumps too after our failed IUI and haven't blogged or nested much myself. I have needed some time to grieve and not focus on the one negative thing in our life. I am so happy that you are doing well and that you are looking forward to the next steps. Have a wonderful birthday, 33 isn't that bad!!! Take care.


Suzanne said...

Glad to have you back. Wasn't SATC just great! Good luck with your Denver consult...I hope you get some answers soon!

Lost in Space said...

Stopping by from Wendy's blog.

I am so sorry your RE wants to backtrack and do things you asked him to earlier. I am starting IVF#2 and our plan is to go to CCRM if this one doesn't work. I would love to follow along if you don't mind.

Best of luck and Happy Birthday. Hoping your wish comes true.

Busted said...

Welcome back! I'm glad you took a deserved break, and I think it's wonderful how proactive you are being in not just going along with what your current RE says, when it sounds like he didn't listen to your suggestions before.

Best of luck!

JJ said...

Hey Jill--so glad to see your post. Youve been in my thoughts...
I am frustrated for you that some of those questions you asked about before doing IVF #2 were not taken care of-and now are being considered. I had to really fight for some of my requests before starting this second round--and Im always fearful that SOMETHING else could have been tested for or done...I just hate feeling like drs. give us the run around.
Glad you are feeling more like YOU again--and I know what you mean with the weight loss--Mook looses so much faster than me-not fair!
HAPPY early BIRTHDAY!! Enjoy your special day!

M. said...

Yay you blogged!! Lots of updates-- I'm so glad you finally had the wtf convo with RE. It was definitely due!

Also, just wanted to say, I was about to post about the whole Charlotte plot line in SATC when I read your comment. I was so irrationally mad about that comment-- I spent the rest of the movie resenting Charlotte. Weird for me, since she's my favorite character.

Anyway, glad to know I wasn't the only one who saw that and thought, "WTF, SATC? You develop a plot line about IF for 3 years and then drop it like a hot potato?!"

Glad you're back :)

M. said...

Oh, shoot!! I forgot to say: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" :)

Katie said...

I bet it was satisfying to tell Dr. A "thanks but no thanks." It sounds like you are doing better, and I am looking forward to hearing about your June 10th consult. Happy birthday!

pamela.ilovemcdreamy said...

Firstly, it's 2 June here..Happy Birthday!!! I turn 33 too this year...

Secondly, sorry about Doc A. Sounds terrible. I just did a lap and had my endo removed and like Doc A, he feels our chances are excellent. We'll see.

Thirdly, glad to hear that you had a great time at SATC! SATC hits us on 5 June!!! GRRRR!!!! Dying to watch it!

Here from Seriously's blog.

LanY said...

Happy Birthday Jill!!

I hope you have a wonderful day and that this is the start of a great year for you.

Pink-CJ said...

Oh!! You do sound so much happier and cheery! I hope you get the answers you want from the new Dr. Sounds like your Old Dr. didn't listen to your requests at all! I know things will work out with you and you'll get your BFP! Girl you are still young! :)

M. said...

Jill, ask for the test. It's not cool-- take the rest of the day off not because it hurts that much, but because you need to celebrate how strong you were and enjoy a glass of wine. But in retrospect, it wasn't that bad and (I hope) will be worth it :)

Jen said...

Hey girl! Glad to see you back around here.

kiss kiss

I'm raising my glass to you in a toast that this IVF is a success for both of us.

Cheers. And more cheer to come.

~Jess said...

I'm glad you're doing better!
Happy Be-lated Birthday! I hope you had a great day.

I give you a lot of credit with the gym and weightloss...I gave up after 3 months and only 2-lbs lost (I really need to loose about 30-40lbs).

Psst...I tagged you