Tuesday, March 25, 2008

How can things like this happen?

So much bad news today with some of my on-line friends. The world is not fair. One girl lost her twins today at 23 weeks 3 days. No previous problems. Just woke up early this morning and had placental abruption and went into labor. Both babies weighed around 1 lb and neither were strong enough to live. Now a girl who went through this IVF hell to have a baby and thought she had made it to the other side is now grappling with such a deep sadness and grief that I simply cannot imagine.

Another friend just failed her IVF#4 today. That was her last chance to have a biological child. Now they have to figure out whether they'll try donor eggs, donor sperm, donor embryos, or even adoption. How can this be fair?

Finally, most all of my IVF cycle buddies have failed their cycles, too. Just by sheer math, at least 50% of us should've had BFPs, but noooo. I think we're hardly batting 25%. WTF??

The women on the Nest TTTC and MSN (private) message boards are incredible. They are always there for me. Good or bad. Happy or sad. I've met a few of the gals locally at my Cincy RE office, but I'll probably never meet the other 99% of them. Yet they're there for me. Every day. Every night. One of my friends (Christi) recently put this poem in her blog. The poem is found on our MSN home page. I think it truly sums up how I feel for these magnificent women.

Faceless Friends

I’ve never even met you though I know your life by heart
You’re a friend who I may never meet but we’re friends, although apart.
Your stories, strength and power to keep pushing every day
Fill me with hope, love and courage, you inspire in every way.
Sometimes I even see you, in my dreams at night while I sleep
We’re sitting having coffee discussing emotions that run so deep.
We have something in common which brought us to this place
We suffer with infertility, but the dream we all still chase.
A dream that is a child, to have, to love, to hold
Is our binding factor but our friendship will uphold
I think of you on days when I know you’re feeling low
I pray for you on those same nights, more than you’ll ever know.
When I get some news, be it bad or be it good
I know you’re there to listen, with you I’m never misunderstood.
You understand my suffering although our stories are not the same
It’s a sisterhood, infertility, we will not be ashamed.
This nightmare that is infertility, I wouldn’t wish on my foe
But it’s the foundation of our friendship, I am so blessed that you, I know.
You are now a part of my life, someone I can’t forget
For your kind words and understanding, I’m forever in your debt.
You’ll be forever in my life, although your face I may never see
I wish for you all the kindness that you’ve bestowed on me.

Finally, in other news today, a man is pregnant. Yes, you read that correctly. http://advocate.com/issue_story.asp?id=52664&page=1

2 comments:

Christi said...

Yesterday was just plain horrible. It was nothing but bad news after bad news... I'm still in disbelief over it all.

Emily said...

It was the most terrible day of news...It just broke my heart! I don't understand why these things happen to anyone, let alone someone who has fought so long and so hard for a baby. When I was telling Sean all this last night, I was bawling...It's time to turn things around!