Saturday, February 28, 2009

What's with the random belly touching?

Seriously? I can't say I've ever done this to any pregnant woman I've ever been in contact with. I'm not opposed to it from people I know and love like close friends and family, but others? It kinda creeps me out. I am barely showing, but that hasn't appeared to stop people. I got 3 random rubs on Thursday alone!

Anyway, I'm truly happy I have a belly and thrilled that everything is going so well with the pregnancy so far. Just wanted to clear my chest on this one.

Gotta love infertility: Since I've been pregnant, not a week (seems more like not even a day) has passed that someone hasn't asked the question: "Do twins run in your family?" I'm amused by it for the most part because I can answer in so many different ways: "Yes they do, my grandmother had fraternal twins" if I'm busy or don't really feel like the full story when this is actually the truth...."Yes they do, but we underwent fertility treatments to conceive our twins" perhaps the whole truth vs. half truth from my first quote...."I think what you're asking is did we do fertility treatments? The answer is yes" for my days when I'm in a bad mood and really don't want to answer a nosey question to begin with.

Oh, and one last one--"Are your twins natural?" I mostly answer they were conceived via IVF, since this question does appear to be more direct vs. the twins in the family above question. However, on a bad day, I've answered anything from "Yes, they are human beings" to "Actually they are supernatural and possess supernatural skills like reading people's minds and communicating back the information to their mother, even in utero" to "No, they are unnatural; we aren't even sure what species they are."

20 comments:

Lisa said...

Eww on the random belly touchings...good luck with that!

It sounds like you are handling the crazy questions well!

Sky said...

You mean your twins aren't from a lucky night of sex with hubby?

;)

ashley said...

I don't know why people think that when a women gets pregnant that that gives them free reign over her belly. Weird.

Leigh said...

oooh, I'll have to write one of these soon.

The good thing that here (in South Africa) most fertile people don't even know what IVF is, so I just say "they're IVF babies" and off I go :)

I would SLAP those hands away - I hate people touching me at the best of times!

Cassandra said...

Random people sometimes come up and touch my hair (almost always women). My husband didn't believe me until he saw it with his own eyes. I likened it to people touching pregnant bellies, and he said, "If someone ever did that to you, I'd touch their belly to see how they like it."


"Are they natural?" reminds me of questions about race that people inarticulately ask anyone who they can't immediately pin down. My personal favorite is "What are you?" When people ask me that, I mostly stare them down or give them an answer such as my occupation even though I know they're asking about ethnicity. I don't believe in answering the question they're trying to ask if they can't articulate it properly.

One time, a friend of mine who is Chinese-American (and clearly looks Chinese to anyone who has familiarity with people of Asian heritage) got the following series of questions from one person, all of which she answered literally rather than giving them the answer she knew he was looking for:

"What are you?"
I'm a graduate student.
"No. What's your nationality?"
American.
"No, I mean where are you from?"
Connecticut.

Then, frustrated by his own ability to articulate the question (or her inability to read his mind), he stormed off.

Two of a Kind said...

Ha - I get stuff like that. It is always awkward when the conversation comes up that I was originally pregnant with twins. I alwasy get great responses like, "wow, that is weird!"
Yes, thank you - it is very weird.

Emily said...

LOL @ your responses. Good for you!

Suzanne said...

Heehee! I was just asked yesterday if I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant with twins...my response...nope, we went through IVF, so I knew it was a possibility! Their response...ohhh!

~Jess said...

I love your responses: I wish I could think on my feet like that. Twins run in my family too, but still it's a ridiculous question to ask and to have to answer.

You need to get a shirt that says: DO NOT TOUCH THE BELLY!

Me said...

I would totally respond to the "natural" question but just yelling "SUPERTWINS!!!" and then acting like I'm flying away. But then I'm a weirdo like that. ;)

G & H said...

I like the supernatural answer :)

Heather said...

I know I never had this issue when I was pregnant with Phoebe, but this time around, I've noticed my belly is a magnet for people's hands too. I find it terribly annoying and start backing up.

The question I've been getting recently has been "Were you surprised it was twins?" I say yes, but that since I'm older, I've been to the doctor a lot and because of that we knew early on.

Echloe said...

Loving the "they are supernatural" comment. LOL

Penny said...

eww, the belly touching. I've only had 1 single belly touching my entire 2 pregnancies so far, and it was by a FRIEND and it STILL felt creepy. It is very weird.

The twin origin remarks must rank high on the annoying comments list, I am sure.

Steph said...

This is hysterical, Jill. I am always amazed at what people feel entitled to say/do to you when you are pregnant. Remember when I was pregnant with Jordan, that random stranger on the elevator at my work said to me, "OH my, your ankles are ENORMOUS." And it doesn't end. After Jordan was born, people would say, "She's (because he looked like a girl with his huge curls) so beautiful. Is her dad a lot darker than you?" I always wanted to say, "I don't know. I'm not sure who the dad is." And random strangers are always more than happy to dole out parenting advice in the mall, the grocery store, etc. One woman scolded me for carrying Jordan forward facing in the baby bjorn and when I told her he liked to see out, she said, "They like what they're TOLD to like at that age." Clearly, she didn't know my child . . ..

deevaa said...

My son's father is Nigerian so my son is a nice toasty brown colour, however my partner and I are both pasty white... I have had -- and on more than one occasion -- people ask me "oh, where did you get him from?"

Why do people think they have the right to ask these sorts of questions?

M. said...

The belly touching is WAY less upsetting when you actually have a big, beautiful belly. It's way weird when you just feel fat. I hated it, too, at first!

I get the "natural" question all the time. It's so awkward and uncomfortable. I can't believe people ask. All the same, I think people have a fascination with twins, and it makes us more susceptible to odd questions ("Is your doctor happy with your weight gain?" "A friend of mine who was pregnant with twins gained 90 lbs. How much have you gained?" "Are you too scared to try a natural delivery? I would be!").

I think you're handling it very well :)

MamaSoon said...

Jill you seriously crack me up. i was laughing so loud at your responses. People are so funny about asking these kinds of questions.

Retro Girl said...

Oh my gosh...I never considered this part of it...how the infertility reminders just keep on coming with the insensitive/ignorant inquiries. So sorry you have to deal with that, but some great responses!

areyoukiddingme said...

I am lucky to have a 2 foot perimeter to my personal space, and a surprisingly forbidding vibe (surprising because I'm 5'1", smallish, and "cute"), so no one touched my belly. Except for 2 people, who still have their hands only because I like them.

I can't imagine what goes through people's minds, that makes them think they can ask personal questions to strangers. I will happily ask obnoxious questions to close friends, but strangers? No way. Glad you're retaining your sense of humor about it!