Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A little update from CCRM

Well, today marks 4 weeks since our embies were biopsed and sent off for testing. I decided to call CCRM to check-in. The nurse told me that testing results were taking around 6 weeks at this point. Gosh-I hope we get our results soon! This is the longest wait I've ever had. I went back and thought about the longest I've ever waited for results of any kind to come back. I think this one wins out over: 1) Nursing Board test results (about a month), 2) A.C.T. results in high school (I think it too was about a month) and 3) Contest wins at work (varies, but again about a month after a contest end date). So, this really is the longest I've ever waited for any results EVER. I'm trying to be patient. I really am...

Some other news from CCRM-I asked nurse if I could go ahead and begin drugs with my next period (coming soon to a theater near me in about 10-14 days). I was worried she would say no and that I would have to wait until my results were back before starting BCPs, but I was happily surprised: she said I could start them and they can control my cycle accordingly with BCPs until the results come in. YAY! YAY! I feel more reassured and not as on edge now about when AF arrives.

Everyone uninterested in my answer to the below opinion-seeking post: please stop reading here and save yourself from a boring embryo politics rant!

First of all, you guys always amaze me at your ability to so eloquently describe your raw honest feelings on such a painful, personal topic. Thank you for your all your comments-very appreciated. I wanted to see what your thoughts and feelings were without the bias of my comments. I'm one of those people who believes there are always two sides to every story. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, I respect your thoughts and opinions on the topic.

So, what are my thoughts? I wouldn't have posted the article if it hadn't struck a nerve with me. I'm scared. I'm scared that politics (which I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE) are now entering my bedroom, or petri dish as the case is with us. If the government can tell us what we have to do with our unborn children, then what's next? I'll tell you: overturning Roe vs. Wade. Most of you have probably figured out from previous posts that I'm a registered Republican. But what you don't know is that I have some strong opinions that fall into line with the Democratic party. The one I'm discussing is Pro-Choice. I've always been Pro-Choice. It doesn't mean that I would have chosen abortion if I'd ever been pregnant previously, but I never had to address it personally. I don't think I could've or would've in that position, but I don't think you can ever really know unless you've been faced with making that decision. We all have our life stories and I believe that someone's decision should be just that: their decision. Not the government's decision. Why am I discussing abortion? Because I believe it will be the next to go if these types of legislations are actually passed in several states.

I believe that frozen embryos are future potential children. I also believe that the 4 embryos we've previously transferred were potential children as well and have mourned their loss similarly to someone who has suffered a miscarriage. So, of course, I consider my embryos to be life. But, I don't believe they are yet children and therefore not of personhood status.

I'm frightened of the ramifications to us "infertiles" should some of these state and federal bills pass. I believe that for those lucky enough to have frozen embryos remaining after successful cycles, the couple should be ones to decide what happens to them. If they feel their family is complete, then the couple should be allowed to decide if they should be discarded, donated to research, or donated for adoption to another couple. Again, I'm Pro-Choice. The government should have no say, in my opinion, on what happens to those embryos. Where the government could help is making embryo donations to research (ie, stem cell research) a real viable option at a federal level. I believe that stem cells can quite possibly hold the key to potentially treating several diseases. If the couple doesn't feel right with discarding them, yet can't embrace the idea of having their genetic child being raised by someone else, then research truly is a happy medium. I do believe that those embryos can maybe save a life (or many lives).

We live in challenging times and these are all tough discussions and decisions. Thanks for listening to my opinions. And as usual on political-type discussions on my blog, please respect my opinions. It is my blog. If you have strongly opposing beliefs, please address your opinion on your own blog and don't attack me. On a side note, this is why I run from political discussions in general. Rarely can two opposing sides leave a political discussion feeling the same about one another as when they first entered into the discussion. Better left unsaid, or be prepared to feel distant from that person.


~Jess said...

I'm also a Republican, but I am pro-choice (within certain ramifications: 1st tri, rape, no partial-birth etc).

I agree entirely with what you said about who should be allowed to determine the status of their embies and what options should be available. The government has no place in deciding those things. Our government has gotten too big and powerful.

I hope the results come back soon from CCRM.

Lorraine said...

It's always refreshing to see that someone can have their own thoughts, regardless of partisan affiliation. The idea that all stances are part of a package deal is one of the big problems with "talking about politics".

Good luck with the super-long wait!

Docshoney said...

Well said.

DAVs said...

Hold up--I didn't know you were a nurse? I'm a Clinical Nurse Specialist in endocrinology.

Anyhow, sorry the waiting time is more like six weeks. Waiting sucks, plain and simple. But you're on the downhill side now!

Ariella said...

Well said.

As a democrat I would like to add that I have never understood how a party in favor of LESS government interference, then wants to interfere in personal life choices, such as this. I am not saying this to start an argument just putting out another reason to be pro-choice.

Me said...

I totally agree with all you've said in this post.

tryingtoconceive said...

I'm so happy you can start BCPs. Yay for you!

And also glad we feel the same on this issue, though you said it all much better than I did!

ttc said...

Hi Jill,

I am pro-life and have always been so. My views are very strong, however, I also have respect for others views and don't think it's my place to tell others how to live.

Having said that I don't believe in abortion as the embryo has attached and the heart is beating, the fingers are forming, the organs are developing and to me that's a little tiny baby that will become a full person.

But to me an unattached embryo in a petri dish is a form of life, but not the same as a viable fetus with a heart beat and tiny fingers.

So I don't think the government should be telling people what to do with their embryos. I used to believe that full human life started at conception, but since I've had 2 failed IVFs, 2 failed FETs and 1 chemical pregnancy to add to my name I no longer equate an embryo to a tiny baby or developing fetus. If it was a person, why didn't it implant and live? It was life to be sure, but was it a baby? No my opinion is it wasn't a baby. It's part of human reproduction, not all the genetic material makes it to the next stage of life. As sad as it is, this is how we are assured the healthiest make it so the species can survive and thrive.

This is such a difficult topic.

I saw my embryos on screen and they were beautiful 8-celled and I thought, this is the origin of life, they are beautiful and symmetrical and seemingly indestructible. But they died in my uterus once transferred.

Anyway we have different views, but we both believe that the choice should be the parents and not the government's. If I am lucky enough to get pregnant on my next FET and I have leftover embryos on "ice" I will attempt pregnancy again after a year of giving birth. If it's meant to be I'll get pregnant again and have the child. I will not leave any of mine in frozen storage forever.

beth said...


Couldnt wait to check in with your bloG today!!!!!!! Man two more weeks!!!!!!!!! This is thriLLing stuff!!!!!

The article...wooW deep!!!! I am so glad we did not freeze any....I wanted them all back!!!!!!! Big brother is going a little far with this one....can you imagine in the future the donated embryo's will be transferred into women who are surrogates or some such and then adopted it would become its own industry!!!!
The goVt has to stay out of some thinGs ....but when you get people to lobbists to donate to a candidate you can get anyyyyyything done!!!! The article was truly shocking!

BAcK to youuuuuu!!!!! Keep uP the great spirit!!!!!!
I cant wait to hear all the GREAT newS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost in Space said...

Well said, Jill.

I can't imagine the wait you are going through right now. I've always thought the 3 days from ER to ET was torture. (: Sending hugs as you wait and hoping that all of your embryos are doing great!!

retro girl said...

Thank you so much for posting this article...I am in the middle of writing a 7-page paper for my US Social Welfare Policy course (for a MSW). We have to discuss both platforms, and this is the topic I chose. The article(s) gave me some additional insight.

I'm with you - pro-choice...except that I am a registered democrat. I have to be - I live in Ann Arbor, MI (often referred to as the "Berkley of the midwest") :-).

April said...

Off topic: Have you been happy with CCRM? How has it been traveling? Would you recommend it?

Just Another Infertile said...

I've been following your blog since August when I was going through my first IVF cycle. I decided to start my own blog to maybe inspire someone as your story has me. I hope you get positive results soon. Waiting is the hardest part.

Sky said...

I'm pretty nervous as to the direction our country is headed, thanks to a very vocal bible belt (and we think the middle east's theocratic government's are dangerous!).

But I'll say this, there is no room for hypocrisy here. If you believe abortion should be outlawed, then you should support any bill that protects embryos. Either life begins at conception or it doesn't. Either you support the right of a woman to decide what's right for her body or you decide an embryo/fetus trumps the woman and her body. There really isn't much middle ground.

Do I want this to happen? Heck no, that's insane.

But I do believe it'll finally expose the hypocrisy in the religious right who stand in front of abortion clinics shaming women at what is already a painful time.

You see, those rabid women are NOT immune to infertility and once they finds themselves incapable of conceiving without IVF, all of this nonsense will end. IVF will always involve the creation of many embryos, thereby creating more potential babies than most couples ever want to have as children.

I'd LOVE to see an anti-choice couple who's been told their remaining embryos will be implanted into another woman because they refuse to use them to have more children (they're life after all, aren't they?)

Yes sir, that'll put a stop to this madness, full stop!

Penny said...

The LA article is based off of CO amendment 48, right? Did you know that entire amendment was started by a 21-year old homeschooled girl. The whole thing infuriates me.

I hope you can get those results back soon too. I'm dyin' of anticipation for you!

M. said...

Two more weeks is awesome!!! And yay that ou get to start your BCPs :)

I'm not surprised that we see eye to eye on the embryo/abortion issue. Even though I'm pro-choice and would stridently fight to maintain Roe v. Wade to protect our rights as women AND prevent back alley coat hanger abortions, I also could never do it myself. And I would try to convince anyone who asked me my thoughts not to do it, too.

And I'm scared, too, of the ramifications of this issue as it wends its way through our media and government. Like you, I'll be watching closely.

But for today, yay for you and the progress you've made! :)

Kay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kay said...

Well said, Jill. Though I was pro-choice before I underwent IVF, the experience really underlined the issues for me. (I'm a Democrat, would not have wanted an abortion myself but want women to have choice and use the right responsibly). In 5 IVF cycles, my body produced 92 eggs and we had nearly 95-100% fertilization in every cycle--76 embryos in total. The result: one chemical pregnancy that failed after a week and one failed at 6 weeks. An embryo is not a baby. Even making it to the 6 or 7 week ultrasound and seeing a heartbeat is no guarantee of life (we saw a heartbeat on my natural pregnancy up until 8 weeks, then miscarried). Good luck at CCRM--that's how I found your site, I'm going there and hope finally to solve our babymaking problems!